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Jun. 6th, 2011 12:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreadfulpennyI don't feel like I can ever do anything on my Facebook anymore without having to explain things to my grandmother. Grandmother doesn't entirely understand internet etiquette, you see, and sometimes she looks at the comments that I've made to other people and then questions me about them. Or she'll post a comment on a photo that has nothing to do with the photo. Or she'll write me a personal message on her wall. She tries though, bless.
I don't need to touch Facebook anyway. And I need to stop compulsively reloading my friends list here. Nothing new has shown up all evening anyway. It's pure procrastination and I really, really hate it. I don't know what I'm procrastinating at midnight:seventeen. Housework maybe. Between my cranky spell and the issues that J's been dealing with, the house is a cluttered, disorganized wreck. Maybe I'm dodging sleep. That's a ridiculous idea; I'm exhausted.
Or possibly I'm just working on avoiding my own life. I think that's probably it.
J and I had a long talk today, reiterating our goals and plans. It's going to be OK. It's ridiculously difficult right now. We don't have a bad life. I'm just tired of being in the same place, spinning my wheels in the same muck and getting nowhere. I'm working on getting out of it (I downloaded a new set of writing prompts and I finished one tonight). It's just slow going. I think that my brain's out of whack because I've skipped my vitamins/supplements for several days now. I can't remember the last day I took them on schedule. Also it's gotten to the point where it's too hot to do much of anything during the day and even well into the night. It could be summertime SAD. It could be stress from the job (I don't eat lunch most days, the customers are horrible, the schedule is wacky - I knew I was getting into this though).
Still re-reading books I already know I love. I am trying to break that streak, even if it may not look like I'm trying that hard. I read the first thirty pages of Peter Straub's A Dark Matter, and I'm enjoying it. It's just easier for me to read something that I already know the ending to. Easy is my friend right now.
I don't need to touch Facebook anyway. And I need to stop compulsively reloading my friends list here. Nothing new has shown up all evening anyway. It's pure procrastination and I really, really hate it. I don't know what I'm procrastinating at midnight:seventeen. Housework maybe. Between my cranky spell and the issues that J's been dealing with, the house is a cluttered, disorganized wreck. Maybe I'm dodging sleep. That's a ridiculous idea; I'm exhausted.
Or possibly I'm just working on avoiding my own life. I think that's probably it.
J and I had a long talk today, reiterating our goals and plans. It's going to be OK. It's ridiculously difficult right now. We don't have a bad life. I'm just tired of being in the same place, spinning my wheels in the same muck and getting nowhere. I'm working on getting out of it (I downloaded a new set of writing prompts and I finished one tonight). It's just slow going. I think that my brain's out of whack because I've skipped my vitamins/supplements for several days now. I can't remember the last day I took them on schedule. Also it's gotten to the point where it's too hot to do much of anything during the day and even well into the night. It could be summertime SAD. It could be stress from the job (I don't eat lunch most days, the customers are horrible, the schedule is wacky - I knew I was getting into this though).
Still re-reading books I already know I love. I am trying to break that streak, even if it may not look like I'm trying that hard. I read the first thirty pages of Peter Straub's A Dark Matter, and I'm enjoying it. It's just easier for me to read something that I already know the ending to. Easy is my friend right now.
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no subject
Date: 2011-06-06 04:55 pm (UTC)As far as books. I'm doing the opposit, reading things I've never read before. However, I did just get audio of Anne Bishop books, so this makes me happy! Better to have a human narrator than a synthesized voice. LOL.
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Date: 2011-06-06 09:32 pm (UTC)Sounds like you have a tougher time on Facebook than I do, but that's the one thing I hate about it: feeling the need to censor yourself because family members see what you say and interpret wrong or whatever. So I feel your pain.
I know we haven't talked in a while, and it sounds like things are frustrating for you right now, and I'm very sorry to hear that.
*HUGS*