Theatre of the Absurd

We are finally finished with the Hell Apartment.

It could have been so much worse. But the longer that we lived there, the easier it was to see that it was a thrown together, cheap, unclean sort of place that had no ventilation and POT HOLES in all of the floors (there were dips in every room, places where chunks of the floor were missing -- their solution was to simply put carpet or linoleum OVER the holes). I swear it has mold. I saw it in the bathroom, behind the tiles. It looked like mildew on steroids, which it essentially was. There was so much wrong with that place that going into it would mean me writing for hours about the horrible place that it was. I do not want to do that.

We are currently staying at Mother In Law's house. We'll be moving into our new place on October 15th. I am feeling so much better now that I'm not staying in the old apartment. Physically speaking, I am not waking up with a headache and a stuffy head, my sense of smell has gotten better (it had faded a lot) and so has my sense of taste. Last night I could *taste* iceberg lettuce in my husband's salad. I had forgotten that iceberg lettuce even *had* a taste, as little as it is. I've been sleeping better (granted it's only been three nights and two of those nights were glorified naps). I am feel so clearheaded right now. It's amazing. I cannot get over this feeling. Sleeping late for the last year has always led to headaches and a horrible feeling. I suspect that I wasn't breathing correctly in my sleep at the last place and that was the cause of the headaches and the insomnia. I was becoming convinced that I had sleep apnea (and I may still). But I feel *good* this morning. And I felt that way yesterday and the day before. Maybe I have stronger allergies than I knew before. Mother In Law doesn't have carpet in any rooms except the bedrooms and office. The rest of the house is tiled.

That apartment was bad for me in a lot of ways. I can see that now that I'm out. I cannot get over how much better I am feeling right now. I feel like myself. That's a magical feeling.

...And I'm sitting outside in Mother In Law's back yard and a dragonfly just sailed by. There are moths and birds and trees and flowers and the only non-natural sound is coming from me and Brandon Flowers singing to me while I write. The dogs are searching for moles. The puppy is digging in the dirt (she loves to dig) and even though I know that Mother In Law won't like it, I don't have the heart to stop her.

I am so content right now. I just wanted to throw that out there while I was thinking about it. The sun is shining, it's not hot and I have new-to-me music by one of my favorite artists (the Flowers album is awesome so far). Even though all of my belongings are haphazardly packed up and stuffed in Mother In Law's garage, and I am still aware of the financial issues, I am still somehow happy right now.

Anyway! Today is our day OFF. I am sitting outside in the perfect weather and I am getting ready to read fiction. Later we're going to Red Lobster for Endless Shrimp, because my husband loves it and he has worked so hard in the last week. We'll watch Six Feet Under and maybe, just maybe, I will write. Tomorrow I anticipate much of the same, only perhaps with some light housework, as I don't want to allow our borrowed house to become cluttered or dirty.

I swear by my pretty floral bonnet that our next apartment is going to be a HOME. The living room of this apartment wasn't bad, but it wasn't to my liking. Not ever. It was too bland. Too mundane. Not enough of our personality was poured into it. Granted, it wasn't a place that we owned, but we lived here for a year. You would think that there would have been more of us. More of me anyway.

I love color. I love bright, bold colors. Our coach is a pale beige. The accent wall is beige (not our choice; it came that way). We have an area rug that's beige, olive and a washed out dusty rose. It's nice, don't get me wrong. It's just not what I would have chosen. We have a new one in storage somewhere, but I cant recall the colors right now. Jonathan picked it out. It's shag, and I remember liking it a lot. That's going to have to be enough. Our bedroom is going to have vintage saris in dark magenta and burnt orange/red for curtains (if we can get them hung...a feat we never managed in this house). I want things on the walls and clever, pretty, useful things in the kitchen and bathroom. I am tired of the blandness and utilitarianism of the things that we have. I am going to change our home into a bright, beautiful place, even if it's just an apartment and even though we may only be there for a year.

J. built a nightstand for me earlier this year and stained it a shade called Cherry Blossom. It's the same dark magenta as the sari that I want to hang. J also built me a lamp with small wooden bars and beautiful, homemade-style paper that's white and pressed with flowers. I love both of those pieces so much and want to expand our collection of items with so much significance and beauty attached to them. And I want to hang things on the walls. I cannot stress enough how much I DETEST empty walls.
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Accomplished this morning: packed up the movies, cleared the mantle (and cleaned the things that go on top of it) and made lunch (focaccia topped with sweet basil and tomato sauce, turkey pepperoni, mozzarella and freshly grated Parmesan cheese and steamed broccoli...also with cheese). J. brought me a soda (yes, trying to cut back...I only drank half of it, but it was BIG BLUE, and that is my most favorite of sodas). Probably going to sort clothing and pack more this afternoon (clothing going into double-lined garbage bags, can go ahead and start stacking up books in orderly piles that are ready for boxes or bags...maybe brown grocery bags will work (and we have a ton of them).

I'm rambling. We're watching HOUSE right now and vegging in the storm-shocked living room. I know J's tired and I could use a nap too, so maybe we'll crash for a little while. I definitely want some book time today. I'm fighting through the last hundred pages of THE NAME OF THE WIND (I'm having problem staying focused) and the last two hundred pages of THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE (ditto). It's been a decent day so far.

The best part? My arm is feeling much better today. I used what amounts to icy hot patches on the elbow and shoulder and wore my wrist brace last night. I'm going to take it easy on it the rest of the day because I can feel little twinges in the elbow and wrist starting back up as we speak. So that's enough for the moment. Happy Friday.