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Yesterday, after getting lost two or three times, J and I ended up on top of a mountain at a beautiful house overlooking the hills and valleys of east Texas. We shelled out $100 and got strapped up in Nylon and topped off with helmets. Then, some very nice men attached us by our waists to heavy-duty steel cables and sent us zooming down from tree to tree.
Ziplining.
I was scared witless. I *HATE* heights, and this only served as confirmation. The first platform that I landed on seriously felt like it was moving up and down. I won't lie, I was in tears after the first one, and said "I don't know if I wanna do this." Then, when the second guide came across the line with the rescue rope, I felt resolve settle into my mind. I was doing this, fear be damned. Not only am I girl, but I'm not a small girl. It seems as if it's always the pudgy girl that wimps out on these things. So I made myself do it. J put it best when he was talking to the owner, a plump woman with artfully styled salt-and-pepper hair and one of the most boisterous personalities that I've ever met (she was so sweet, honestly). She told him that she was proud of me for going through it, that they have had plenty of people need to be towed back on the rescue rope. He told her that when I got angry, I was going to do whatever it was that it looked like I wasn't going to be able to do. He said "If you threw her keys at the bottom of a 500 foot deep pool, and she got mad enough, she'd go down after them. It doesn't matter if she doesn't come back, she's going after those keys." Anyway. When I came up the hill, the owner was waiting, and talking to all of us. She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and told me that she was so proud of me. I staggered up to the house where J. unstrapped me, gave me a hug, and told me that he was proud of me. We sat down at the big table and I tried to calm down. The owner bustled about, talking to all of us (there were eight or so in our group), and then said "Do you guys want some popsicles? I'm going to get some popsicles." And she returned, brandishing several handfuls of the push-em-up posicles (the kind that come in the plastic tubes that you freeze yourself). I took a purple one and sat there, looking out over the mountains and ate my popsicle, reflecting on the afternoon.
I was so frightened the entire time that I was on the platforms, getting ready to be hooked up to the next line. The guide was great, encouraging me, and giving me pointers. I managed to stay calm, and even though I still wasn't doing that great by the end, at least I made it across the line and managed not to screw up too much. Go me.
Doing something that truly terrifies you really puts things into perspective. I wish that I had enjoyed it more. It wasn't fun for me, but like I said, I'm glad I did it. It was an experience.
__________
I've felt so worn-out lately. I don't know what's going on with me. But I haven't felt like doing much of anything lately. It seems like I'm always hurting and tired. I just don't have the energy to do much of anything that needs to be done, especially after I get home from work. We got up late, went out to lunch, and stopped at Target on the way home. Then I fell into bed and slept for two straight hours. I was still tired when I got out of bed. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't eat breakfast anymore, and I don't take the vitamins that I need. I had a snack and took a vitamin after I got up, and I started to feel better after about a half an hour. Placebo or not, I felt a bit more energy and the brain fog started to clear. So I made dinner. I haven't made dinner in weeks. Maybe months. I've made things to eat, sure, but no actual meals. Quesadillas, frozen pizzas, nachos, scrambled eggs. Nothing remotely dinner like. Tonight, we had roast chicken, baked potatoes and fried cabbage. In all fairness, I roasted the chicken last night (it was ridiculously simple and delicious). But I made a meal that consisted of more than one item. I feel OK right now. My arms are sore from yesterday, and my head still hurts (it's been kind of sore since yesterday - I blame the extreme adrenaline). I'm still tired, but not nearly as wiped out as from before.
I'm trying something different this week. No candy. I have to cut the stress-eating out, and stopping candy will be the first, most painless thing to go. We'll see if this holds up. Halloween is coming, and I love all of the sour, chewy, gummy, extra-sugary things that are always available. It's going to be tough to resist the Cherry Heads and Sour Punch Straws (which are only available at this time of year). I need to try though. If I make it through a whole week, maybe I'll try dropping something else.
Ziplining.
I was scared witless. I *HATE* heights, and this only served as confirmation. The first platform that I landed on seriously felt like it was moving up and down. I won't lie, I was in tears after the first one, and said "I don't know if I wanna do this." Then, when the second guide came across the line with the rescue rope, I felt resolve settle into my mind. I was doing this, fear be damned. Not only am I girl, but I'm not a small girl. It seems as if it's always the pudgy girl that wimps out on these things. So I made myself do it. J put it best when he was talking to the owner, a plump woman with artfully styled salt-and-pepper hair and one of the most boisterous personalities that I've ever met (she was so sweet, honestly). She told him that she was proud of me for going through it, that they have had plenty of people need to be towed back on the rescue rope. He told her that when I got angry, I was going to do whatever it was that it looked like I wasn't going to be able to do. He said "If you threw her keys at the bottom of a 500 foot deep pool, and she got mad enough, she'd go down after them. It doesn't matter if she doesn't come back, she's going after those keys." Anyway. When I came up the hill, the owner was waiting, and talking to all of us. She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and told me that she was so proud of me. I staggered up to the house where J. unstrapped me, gave me a hug, and told me that he was proud of me. We sat down at the big table and I tried to calm down. The owner bustled about, talking to all of us (there were eight or so in our group), and then said "Do you guys want some popsicles? I'm going to get some popsicles." And she returned, brandishing several handfuls of the push-em-up posicles (the kind that come in the plastic tubes that you freeze yourself). I took a purple one and sat there, looking out over the mountains and ate my popsicle, reflecting on the afternoon.
I was so frightened the entire time that I was on the platforms, getting ready to be hooked up to the next line. The guide was great, encouraging me, and giving me pointers. I managed to stay calm, and even though I still wasn't doing that great by the end, at least I made it across the line and managed not to screw up too much. Go me.
Doing something that truly terrifies you really puts things into perspective. I wish that I had enjoyed it more. It wasn't fun for me, but like I said, I'm glad I did it. It was an experience.
__________
I've felt so worn-out lately. I don't know what's going on with me. But I haven't felt like doing much of anything lately. It seems like I'm always hurting and tired. I just don't have the energy to do much of anything that needs to be done, especially after I get home from work. We got up late, went out to lunch, and stopped at Target on the way home. Then I fell into bed and slept for two straight hours. I was still tired when I got out of bed. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't eat breakfast anymore, and I don't take the vitamins that I need. I had a snack and took a vitamin after I got up, and I started to feel better after about a half an hour. Placebo or not, I felt a bit more energy and the brain fog started to clear. So I made dinner. I haven't made dinner in weeks. Maybe months. I've made things to eat, sure, but no actual meals. Quesadillas, frozen pizzas, nachos, scrambled eggs. Nothing remotely dinner like. Tonight, we had roast chicken, baked potatoes and fried cabbage. In all fairness, I roasted the chicken last night (it was ridiculously simple and delicious). But I made a meal that consisted of more than one item. I feel OK right now. My arms are sore from yesterday, and my head still hurts (it's been kind of sore since yesterday - I blame the extreme adrenaline). I'm still tired, but not nearly as wiped out as from before.
I'm trying something different this week. No candy. I have to cut the stress-eating out, and stopping candy will be the first, most painless thing to go. We'll see if this holds up. Halloween is coming, and I love all of the sour, chewy, gummy, extra-sugary things that are always available. It's going to be tough to resist the Cherry Heads and Sour Punch Straws (which are only available at this time of year). I need to try though. If I make it through a whole week, maybe I'll try dropping something else.
