dreadfulpenny: (BeautifulRiver)
[personal profile] dreadfulpenny
I find that I am missing the community that used to exist here more and more. There have been numerous occasions when I click various journals and read back through the archives, just to get a taste of what used to be. Facebook is so generic and superficial in comparison.

Speaking of FB, I do my very best to keep this identity hidden from that population. I do not think that most of my FB "friends" would know quite what to do with the more organic version of myself that exists on this page. My family would never understand. There are only a few individuals who know about both, and all have been very good about not mentioning this page publicly (which I appreciate more than you realize).

I love my family. They are just wildly different from myself in terms of philosophy, beliefs and opinions. Example! On a family vacation several years ago, one of my stepsisters raved about the Twilight books and wanted to know if I'd read them. "I started the first one!" I replied. I did not tell her that I quite literally threw it across the room one day. However, I dutifully finished out the first three books in the series, just so that I'd have something in common with my stepsisters. I am very fond of them. I would like very much to get to know them. It's hard; they both have children, different hobbies, and different tastes in things. But my father is married to their mother and by all accounts adores her. Stepmum, by the way, is a lovely woman and I would also like to get to know HER better as well. This was a large motivation behind moving from Texas back to Virginia.

Another motivation: there was no reason to stay in Texas. J's mother betrayed us time and again. I had no real friends there whatsoever. The two maybe-could-have been friends that I encountered both moved away. Already in my short time in Virginia I have several potential new friends, one individual that I love very dearly, AND I will be able to reconnect with two of the greatest friends that I have ever known. I will at least periodically see the little brother that I still adore, despite distance and years. Life will get better. I will not feel so isolated. I have not been in real contact with even one of the individuals that I met in Texas. None of them understood me or even really liked me, I am seeing. I am about to purge the entire lot of them from my FB feed just so that I don't have to deal with them any longer.

Even our second dog, Vivi, who had become quite sad, is happy here. She is a completely different pup. She is playful and happy again - she had become quite mopey and depressed in Texas. Picking up on my mood, perhaps?

Either way, this has meandered into something very different than what it started out as. That's fine with me. I cannot singlehandedly bring back the old LJ. But I can write and contribute instead of simply bemoaning the past.
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